Every now and then I read something like this—about the usual amoral scumbags feigning outrage over being caught, again—and I notice that the main hysteria (in the Clinton camp, as usual) might be another bullshit show to divert attention from whatever *really* heinous crime they've pulled this time. » 3/04/15 3:24pm 3/04/15 3:24pm

Is this Montana right-winger suggesting he wants a crystal ball? Because that's sorcery, and followers of the Bible know that "Thou shalt not suffer a witch." (Exodus 2:18.) What that means, in modern translation, and as elaborated in Leviticus 20:27, is exactly this: » 2/14/15 4:54pm 2/14/15 4:54pm

Memorial Day's Real Heroes Are These Loser Tea Party Candidates

Aerial drones and roving robots have taken over the work of America's fighting forces. The remaining humans in the military are mostly concerned with Wiccan worship, transgender issues, and health care controversies at the Veteran's Administration. Maybe it's time to start honoring some real heroes on Memorial Day:… » 5/26/14 11:00am 5/26/14 11:00am

Heart of Blandness: A Walking Tour of Silicon Valley

Walking is the only pleasant form of traveling by land. You need no special equipment, training, money, e-tickets, antidepressants, or Twitter followers. Whatever clothes you're wearing will do fine; a hat and shoes are optional. When I've got a few days to spend somewhere, I spend them walking around. So I spent a… » 2/28/14 5:19pm 2/28/14 5:19pm

It's not long or flowery, but if you read it in Murray's voice—the one balanced between smarm and sincerity—it's kind of perfect. "He earned his keep on this planet" echoes Hunter Thompson's obits for his departed friends, too. ("The Ultimate Freelancer," in particular.) » 2/25/14 11:26am 2/25/14 11:26am

7 Real-Life Comedy Pranks Inspired By Harold Ramis Movies

Harold Ramis wrote and/or directed the greatest American movies of my generation, a generation that was smarter than it should've been and doomed to professional mediocrity. The only sane solution was to try to have a little fun in the process of being disappointed by everything. » 2/24/14 6:00pm 2/24/14 6:00pm

Watch Tonight's Best Olympic Event: The Terrifying Asteroid Flyby!

An 885-foot-long asteroid will speed by the Earth tonight at 27,000 miles per hour, but what's the tie-in with the Winter Olympics? Well, it was "almost exactly" a year ago when another chunk of space rock actually exploded in the sky over Russia—and that's where Sochi is, in Russia! » 2/17/14 5:15pm 2/17/14 5:15pm

In Wealth, Washington Was a Winner and Lincoln a Loser

The presidents we celebrate today were very different men. Abraham Lincoln loved to talk and debate and write and read books and be boring. George Washington was quiet and dignified, never wasting words. Abraham Lincoln led the United States into war over slavery. George Washington actually owned slaves. And in… » 2/17/14 12:00pm 2/17/14 12:00pm

This Valentine's Day, Show Your Love By Ignoring Valentine's Day

With dull eyes and open mouths, they crowd the streets and fill the restaurants. Some are teenagers, some are straight, some are gay, and far too many are married adults who would usually be found at home watching the television at night. They are the zombies of St. Valentine's Day, and they're just as miserable as… » 2/14/14 12:05pm 2/14/14 12:05pm